Had a talk with the gf today...and I was thanking her for how good she's been to me...we've been together for 2 yrs now...and she has YET to call me for one of those "WE'VE GOT TO TALK" talks...those talks are definitely one of the worst things about relationships...my ex gf and I had one of those talks at least twice a week...call it a biweekly "WE'VE GOT TO TALK" talk...and what better time to talk but 3am in the morning?...when I'm dead tired...

For that reason I learned a few rules to speeding up these "discussions"...you have to take 2 stances...first stance...YOU'RE ALWAYS WRONG....second stance...YOU'RE ALWAYS SORRY...if you do this...you should be well on your way to a good night's rest in no time...unless of course she wants MAKE-UP SEX...either way...it's a win-win situation...

I truly hope no one has to endure the torment of the talk...I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy...

Hmm...just wondering...what exactly is LENT all about?...I hear you give up something for 40 days?...as some sort of gift to god?...or prove to him that you have faith?...hmm...I'd like to propose a new holiday...it's called SPENT...where you don't give something up...you actually gain something...you go out and spend some dough...on yourself...on someone else...whoever...as long as it makes you happy...sometimes it's just nice to indulge...

You know when you have to take a dump but there's no washroom around...the shit and gas is building up...and then you finally find that washroom?...relief right?...that's exactly how I felt this weekend...passed my first Oracle exam...one of the most stressful studies of my life...but it's all behind me now...sort of...kind of...but not really...cuz now comes the next challenge...the 2nd Oracle exam...another few weeks of trying to balance my schoolwork, work, and the oracle exams...let the games begin =)

Hmm...well haven't posted in awhile...but here's what I was thinking as I was on my way to school today...

I was thinking about people's mood swings...and how in some people it's noticeable...and others it's not so noticeable...I think it has partly to do with the fact that some people are affected very easily by their environment and can their moods reflect that...and partly the fact that the range between a person's happy state and sad state differs for everyone...take for example...myself...happy jake smiles, laughs, and jokes around...sad jake smiles and laughs...so I have created an index to classify my own propensity to change moods!!...you like that word don't you?...hehe...PROPENSITY...today's word...anyhow...I call it the swing index...and on a scale of 1-22...where 1 is Buddha...no moods to swing...and 22 is the swing index for most women at that "special time" of the month...

I think I'm an 11...what's your swing index?

Passive aggressive?...yes that's me...comes from my insistence on bottling my emotions...putting on a facade to hide the hurt, the disappointment, the pain...but every now and then the bottle of emotions gets full...and they want to be heard...and I tend to withdraw from everyone around me so I can regain my composure...the last week or so has been just that...me trying to regain my composure...the fact of the matter is this...I'm tired of getting the short end of the stick in life...tired of standing in the shadow...tired of getting the "thin envelope"...god dammit...why always the "thin envelope"???...and who's getting all the "thick envelopes"???..frrrrrrrig...

There's my rant for the year...we now return you to your regular program...

I'm in my web class right now...learning ASP...and my prof keeps saying "mission critical"..."it is mission critical that you place the equal sign after the % sign"..."it is mission critical that you check case sensitivity in your variables"...I think he was an astronaut in his previous life...I also think that it's mission critical that someone beat me with a blunt stick and put me out of my misery...

Someone asked me the other day where the g-spot was...and though I've never actually located or attempted to locate one in my lifetime...I attempted to explain it to them...I've heard that it's approximately 1.5 inches up on the anterior (front) side of the vaginal wall...now if this is somewhat unclear for people...I've enclosed my own map and directions that I drew with mspaint...hope this helps...


Directions
1) Be wary of the booby traps...they may divert your attention from the real goal...the buried treasure...
2) Enter through the front door...DO NOT enter through the back door...I REPEAT!!...the back door is not to be entered!!...you will not be able to reach the g-spot from here...
3) It's almost like gripping a bowling ball...except not with the same fingers...use your index and your middle finger...
4) Once inside...slide up the front-side of the vaginal wall about 1.5 inches...dig here until you find the buried treasure...

I've started experimenting with study methods...simply because my method is extremely inefficient...typically I read, take notes, re-read my notes, re-read, and re-read them again until they sink in...hoping to reduce the number of iterations I go through in preparation for a test...I've tried out a few of the following lesser-known study methods...

1) sleeping with the enemy
Currently these are the books that occupy the other side of my bed...Enterprise DBA Part 1A : Architecture and Administration...and PL/SQL Fundamentals...sleeping next to them has been counter-productive...I usually end up rolling over them and hurting my back...waking up with with ill-thoughts and resentment...and resentment is really not a good frame of mind to be in when you're studying...

2) talking to yourself like the greeks
Apparently the greek philosophers used to walk around reading aloud (and in togas)...it helped them absorb better and understand concepts better...though I don't own a toga...I've tried talking to myself...and to my surprise it's quite effective...it might scare the neighbors...but a sure proven study method...

3) drinking and coding
I haven't really tried this yet...but I would imagine that drinking might ease the pains of monotony and might relax you a bit...the downside of coding inebriated might involve somewhat incoherent logic (or lack thereof) and spaghetti code...SPAGHETTI CODE...oh my, the horror!!!

I'm suffering from sports deprivation...my muscles have atrophied...and the weather is starting to get nice...oh no...

These days I spend way too much time reading pdf's and oracle textbooks...my body is weak...my brain is numb...and my eyes are sore...goddamn I wish I could just gouge them out with this laptop...however the laptop is a rental...and I highly doubt my school would be amused when I returned the laptop with an eyeball stuck between the keys...

tell me the similarity between "emotion Eric" and "rico suauve Stan" isn't uncanny!!

So many things to do...so little time...and so much slacking on my part...exams coming out of my wazoo...

I spent the entire weekend sitting in a chair reading programming books and doing practise tests... big oracle exam coming up... if I don't pass this exam... I'm gonna be completely demoralized... my wool ball of reality will completely unravel... as soultronix put it... my life is built on shaky foundation... so I need to pass this exam and move on to the next one...



"Can't sleep...the clowns will kill me!!"

Today's List of Things to Do :
1) Study
2) Laundry
3) Sit on the curb of the street contemplating life...while throwing pennies at passing pedestrians...

Mental note...from now on my sardonic remarks will be reduced by 43.7%...I know that's gonna be tough for a guy of my sardonic nature...but I shall try...really...I'm not being sardonic when I say this...frrrrrrrrrig...

Well, well, well...yet another thing to waste my precious time...then again this might be useful for my ever-degenerating memory...hmm...I think I'll try to make this more of MY humble abode rather than make it a published piece for the voyeurs online...


Shaky...better than yo mama's cornbread...